Re-make Schme-make. What Happened to Originality?

I may be a wee bit biased as someone raised watching awesome old movies only to find them maimed by terrible re-makes as an adult, but I just don't see the point in re-making something unless you genuinely have something to add to it or another angle to shine a light on. I actually really enjoyed the 2005 King Kong re-make, because it was recreated in such an epic manner as to conjure the same type of reaction one would have had when viewing the original in the theatre in 1933.

Similarly, '86 Cronenberg version of The Fly brought the horror of the '58 original featuring the always amazing Vincent Price to a younger generation who would've simply laughed at the image of the tiny fly with the human head stuck in web, crying help me, which at the time of its release was considered to be frightening. There are also some amazing films that are remakes of which I've never seen the original. Allow me to briefly voice my respect for the following: '41 Maltese Falcon, '40 His Girl Friday (originally The Front Page in '31) & '07 Sweeney Todd.

That being said, I must also acknowledge that there is sometimes that rare film that can be re-made over and over and pretty much always be good. The film of which I speak is Invasion of the Body Snatchers. It's been made four times, the original in '56, then another in '78, another in '93 and finally the last incarnation in '07 as The Invasion. The first one is incredible, the '78 version with Donald Sutherland brings it up to a more current age and features an excellent cameo from Kevin McCarthy, who played the lead in the first version. The most mediocre of all versions would be '93's with Gabrielle Anwar, but it's still a compelling movie. The Invasion brought some interesting questions to the forefront & a slightly different take on the story. I won't go into this too deeply as I have a bigger point I'm getting around to. Suffice it to say that every once in a good long while a concept so horrifying and fascinating is created, a story arc so sound that it can be reinvented over and over again and the audience will continue to be entertained.

Before I weave my way slowly but surely back to my main point, I must point out the worst movies ever re-made. In an effort to be brief, I shall limit myself to one line per piece....or try to any way...

Hairspray - a movie based on a play based on a fantastic movie. Why the fuck? PS John Travolta?!?

Godzilla - Want to know the secret to fucking a good monster movie up? Just add Matthew Broderick and a crappy re-mix of an amazing Led Zeppelin song by Puff Daddy.

Planet of the Apes - Fuck you Tim Burton. Best movie ever turned into absolute drivel for no good reason whatsoever.

The Mummy - I didn't even have to watch this movie to tell you it sucks worse than the Karloff original. I flipped the channel away from the trailer for christ's sake.

Sabrina - Five words: Greg Kinnear as Humphrey Bogart. I don't fucking think so.

So, you're thinking to yourself, alright, she said something about having a point....there's supposed to be something sharp & pointy coming my way....right? Maybe like sometime soon? You're totally right! There is! It is this, if you can't add something meaningful and different to the original, just leave it alone. All these re-makes and sequels and re-boots coming out of the ass of Hollywood are just too god damn much. Alien reboot, Total Recall remake, Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie remake, Heathers 2?!?, Short Circuit...I mean these were all great movies....okay fine, I never saw Short Circuit, but the rest are some of the best movies ever and I have a really hard time buying that a re-make will be worthwhile or rewarding.

All in all, I find it frightening that we can't seem to come up with some new ideas. Now more than ever Hollywood is just sputtering out remakes & comic books. I love comic books, but I mean aren't there any other ideas out there? I suppose perhaps, when it all comes down to it Dexter Newton was right. There is no such thing as an original idea.

~A~


Note - in researching for this blog, I found that they're re-making Evil Dead again? WTF? Sam Raimi already took two shots at it, why do we need another one?